I’ll never forget walking into my very first NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) training. I thought I was going there to learn a few professional development tricks. What I didn’t expect was the gut-punch realization that the biggest obstacle in my career and my life was me. I was in my own way, stressed out, and reacting to everything around me. But that training also gave me something I had never considered before: I had more influence than I thought. I wasn’t powerless. I could do something about my stress, my choices, and my future.
That realization shifted everything. When I began to embrace these mindset tools, I started showing up differently. I wasn’t as emotionally reactive. I saw myself differently. And little by little, I started leading differently, too.
Here’s Why It’s Important
Leaders don’t always realize how much influence they already have. The tools I discovered through NLP and Huna helped me see that clarity wasn’t something out of reach—it was already available when I chose to take responsibility. These tools became a turning point in my leadership and my life.
The Tools That Changed Everything
- Cause and Effect
Cause is an action. Effect is the consequence of that action. Positive or negative, it’s that simple. You’re either generating results or generating excuses for why you don’t have the results you want. When I understood that, I realized I was responsible for my outcomes and my success. That level of clarity and responsibility was both humbling and freeing. For leaders, it’s a powerful check-in: are you on the cause side of your results or the effect side? Are you getting results? Or, are you piling up the reasons why you aren’t? - Values Clarity
I had to learn the hard way that just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Too many leaders chase what they think success should look like, even if it runs against who they are and what matters most to them. When I got clear on my values, I understood what motivated me. I knew when to say yes, when to say no, and when to wait. That one shift allowed me to make better choices about my career, my leadership, and eventually, my business.
Here’s a simple NLP-style values elicitation exercise you can try: Take a quiet moment and ask yourself, What is important to me about my work and leadership? Write down everything that comes to mind, without editing. Keep going until you have at least 8–10 items. Next, review the list and rank them in order of importance. Notice which ones rise to the top. These are the values that truly drive you. Once you’re clear, ask: Am I honoring these values in the way I’m leading today? Where am I out of alignment? This quick reflection often reveals where you’re chasing someone else’s version of success instead of your own.
- Defining Success on My Terms
For years, I chased a vague and ambiguous idea of success. I thought it meant climbing the ladder, checking boxes, and saying yes to whatever was next. But success without a definition wastes energy. Once I started naming what success actually meant to me, I made better decisions. I was less distracted. And I could help others do the same. As a leader, you don’t just need to define success for yourself. You need to help your team define what success looks like for them. That’s when the work gets aligned.
How You Can Apply This
These tools didn’t just change how I led in my corporate career. They continue to shape how I run my business and show up today as a keynote speaker. Mindset clarity is leadership clarity. And when you find tools that work, you don’t just change yourself. You change the way you lead others.
Mirror Language for Teams
- Cause and Effect for Teams: Encourage your team to notice where they’re creating results versus offering reasons. This builds a culture of accountability.
- Values Clarity for Teams: Ask team members what’s most important to them in their work. Use this to shape assignments, recognition, and opportunities.
- Defining Success for Teams: Make success tangible. Invite your team to define what a win looks like for a project before the work begins. This creates alignment and shared motivation.
What’s Your Next Clear Move?
Ask yourself: Where are you living on the effect side instead of the cause side? What’s one value you need to honor more in your leadership? Define your next clear move – and then take it.
